“Becoming a Dad” by Lisa Marshall
Becoming a Dad: The First-Time Dad’s Guide to Pregnancy Preparation (101 Tips For Expectant Dads) (Positive Parenting) by Lisa Marshall
Do you want to learn more about pregnancy and childbirth?
If you want answers, facts, and more thorough tips, just read on…
You may be worried about how your new baby is going to affect your life. You may also feel inadequately prepared for such a huge responsibility.
Also, you’re tired of spending hours surfing the internet to look for advice for expectant dads that will end with a mountain of contrasting advice and assumptions-based information, right?
Don’t panic anymore!
We have it all covered thanks to the close cooperation of midwives, parent coaches, psychologists, and other experts.
A step-by-step guide on pregnancy preparation based on real-life experiences from expectant dads (and moms) that will give you only proven tips and those that have been field-tested by hundreds of men, who were in the same place you now stand.
Because your role is as important as the mother and you need to be prepared for fatherhood in the right way.
“New studies are finding that non-maternal caregivers play a crucial role in children’s behavior, happiness, even cognitive skills”- says Michael Lamb, a psychologist at the University of Cambridge.
This survival manual for dads-to-be gives you proven insights in order to be prepared for pregnancy and childbirth in a clear and sensible way.
In Becoming a Dad, you’ll discover:
- How obstetricians and midwives look at 40 weeks of pregnancy to help you know in advance what is happening in your partner’s mind and body, and how your child develops in the womb.
- How to avoid the most common parental leave mistake 99% of first-time parents fall into and the simple solution to prevent catastrophic loss.
- The little-known secret about nurseries and spaces! This includes a special detailed list of essential gear and the “one thing” you must attentively check that could make the difference between life or death!
- Money management tips from expert financial planners on saving, insurance, and retirement; this alone will save you $23,890 (according to The College Board) and sleepless nights!
- How to get into a deep, soul-pleasing rapport with your lover….
- The most important thing you should do before childbirth. Missing this crucial step can take a serious toll on your relationship! You can find many affordable options in CHAPTER 3…Talking About The Future
- The 5 latest science-based solutions about diet and activities in pregnancy to maintain mental and physical fitness for your partner which also help to prepare for childbirth. Start picking up healthy habits you’ll want to pass on to your child.
…and MUCH MORE!
As a bonus, you’ll get The Bump Hospital Bag Checklist!
The vast amount of information in encyclopedia-sized pregnancy books for first-time parents can be overwhelming for men.
“Becoming a Dad” is different.
Book excerpt of “Becoming a Dad” by Lisa Marshall (Chapter 6)
Preparing your home (Chapter 6)
Where will the baby sleep?
It’s a very good idea to talk with your partner about where the baby is going to sleep while keeping in mind that whatever you decide, your feelings may change over time.
Options include a crib, a bassinet, a bassinet attached to your bed, and in the bed with you. Every possibility has its fans and its detractors, and you may be surprised at how strongly some of your friends and family feel about them. The decision about where your baby is going to sleep is deeply personal and should be decided by you and your partner.
If you are setting up a separate room, or nursery, for the baby, you’ll have lots of choices as far as materials, colors, and lighting.
A crib is the default choice for most parents. A new crib can be expensive and you’ll only use it for two or three years at most (less if your child is a precocious climber). You might be offered someone else’s old crib or be tempted to buy a used one; if you are, make sure it meets current safety recommendations. Too much space between the bars or between the bottom and side of the crib can trap a baby’s body or head, with tragic consequences.
A bassinet is a small cradle-like bed or basket that a baby can sleep in until they are old enough to sit up on their own, around six months or so. At that point, the bassinet won’t be big enough or stable enough to hold them.
A co-sleeper is a bassinet that fits against the side of your bed. It’s a compromise that keeps the baby safely in his or her own space, but reassuringly close. It’s also possible to “sidecar” a crib by leaving one side off of it and attaching it securely to your bed. Care must be taken to ensure there’s no space between the bassinet or crib and bed where the baby could get trapped.
In bed with you
Referred to as co-sleeping or the family bed, keeping your baby in your bed with you may be the most natural option; families have been sleeping together for as long as there have been families. There are many advantages to co-sleeping, and some disadvantages as well. Co-sleeping can enhance bonding with the baby and be especially convenient for breastfeeding; while you won’t necessarily get to sleep through the night, you can at least avoid having to get out of bed to attend to diapering or feeding.
On the other hand, co-sleeping may be dangerous for the baby if either you or your partner are big people, heavy sleepers or under the influence of intoxicants or pain medications. And of course, having a baby in the bed changes the dynamic between you and your partner. It’s hard to spoon or cuddle with a little body between you. And when you’re both ready to start having sex again, a little creativity will be needed if the bed is your usual spot for intimacy.
If you do decide on co-sleeping, it’s a good idea to talk about how long you both think you’ll want to continue. You may find you love the family bed more than you thought you would, or you may tire of it sooner than expected. And your partner may feel the same—or the opposite! As with so many issues you’ll face as parents, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open and to take care of your relationship just as you take care of your child.
How much gear do you really need?
The variety and magnitude of gear for use at home and away are astounding. What you end up with is limited only by your imagination, budget, and available space. A reasonable list includes:
- Crib: bassinet or other space for baby to sleep.
- Blankets: You’ll want quite a few of the small, light blankets known commonly called receiving blankets. You’ll use them for everything from swaddling the baby to protecting your clothing from spit-up. And there will be lots of spit-ups.
- Infant car seat: Most are now designed to accommodate the safety needs of little ones from newborn to toddler. Be wary of used car seats, as it isn’t all that uncommon for them to be recalled due to safety issues. Make sure you understand exactly how to secure the seat in your car; practice taking it out and buckling it back in well before your baby is due.
- Diapers and wipes or washcloths: Lots of them. You can’t even imagine how many diapers you’ll go through. There’s no doubt disposable diapers are the easiest to deal with, but they do create an enormous landfill burden. Biodegradable diapers are available, but they’re not cheap. Cloth diapers can live forever as rags after your baby outgrows them, but they can be a lot of work, and some argue the frequent laundering and disinfection they require isn’t a lot greener in the long run. Diaper services that pick up dirty diapers and drop off clean ones may be available.
- Seasonally appropriate clothing: Babies aren’t very adept at regulating their body temperature for the first year or two. They can easily get overheated if they are overdressed, or become hypothermic if they are underdressed.
- Stroller: There are two basic kinds of strollers, the kind that’s like a bassinet on wheels, and the kind that is super light and foldable. The first kind lets you carry lots of gear, traverse uneven terrain and protect the baby from sun, wind, and rain. The second kind, often called an umbrella stroller, is way less fancy but is easy to pack up and take along. The ideal solution is to have one of each.
Maintaining a healthy environment
Drugs and alcohol
Once your baby is crawling, keeping intoxicants out of reach will obviously be an issue. Until then, the concern is passive exposure and the danger of being cared for by adults who are under the influence. Exposing a baby to second-hand smoke from the pot, crack, or meth, or breastfeeding after using any drug, are forms of child abuse, plain and simple. A baby’s safety and wellbeing require parents and caregivers to be present, alert, and aware of what’s happening around them.
There’s no amount of second-hand tobacco smoke that is safe for a baby. Even limited exposure can contribute to asthma, ear and respiratory infections and even sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Smoking inside the home is obviously off-limits. Vaping is clearly safer than smoking cigarettes, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe in your home. You’ll still take in toxic amounts of nicotine and other chemicals, and the particulate matter you puff out can still be breathed in by those around you. If either you or your partner is dependent on the nicotine in any smoky or vaporous form, now you have a really good reason to quit.
Besides the emotional benefits of growing up with a beloved pet, research suggests early exposure to furry family members can help prevent a child from developing allergies and asthma. Safety comes first, though. Experts recommend making sure you can control your dog with voice commands, and get it used to baby smells and sounds long before you bring that fragrant little sound machine home. Some dogs will see a newborn as a kind of hairless puppy, while others will see potential prey. Make sure you know which kind of dog you have. The advice for is the same for cats (except for the part about obeying voice commands, of course).
If you have a cat that goes outside and also uses a litter box inside, there are special concerns when your partner is pregnant. If your partner contracts toxoplasmosis while she’s pregnant, the parasite can damage the baby’s eyes and brain. Toxoplasmosis is a parasite cats pick up by eating infected small animals. The cat then excretes oocysts, which are kind of like tough little eggs, in their feces. Humans become infected by inhaling or swallowing the oocysts. This is obviously a concern with litter boxes, but it can also be a problem if cats use your yard or garden as a toilet. It’s best if your partner avoids scooping the litter box while pregnant; if it’s unavoidable she should wear gloves and wash her hands afterward.